Four years ago today I met one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I was in the middle of a journey, and the stranger I met would change the path of my life.

Four years ago, I was in the Alaska Marine Highway terminal in Bellingham, Washington, about to board one of the state ferries for the trip to Whittier, Alaska. I had arrived early at the terminal and had hours to kill before they began loading cars onto the ferry.

I passed the time wandering around the terminal. I spent some of my time in a small gift shop, chatting with the proprietor. After a while, someone else came and joined our conversation.

His name was Jay Proetto and he was on his way back to Skagway, Alaska, after spending the winter working in New Mexico at the Bosque del Apache National Wildlife Refuge. We became friends over our shared love of cats and over his willingness to advise someone who had never even visited Alaska previously and yet was moving there (that would be me).

I had no way of knowing at the time that meeting Jay would change so many things in my life. I had no way to know, four years ago, that today I would be writing about my dear friend, in a home I rent from another dear friend – someone I wouldn’t even know if Jay hadn’t been a part of my life.

When I met Jay, I was on my way to Homer, Alaska, to restart my life. I wanted to do something different. Most of all, I wanted to change my experiences in life. I wanted to stop being a person who had hobbies and things she loved to do, but never actually made the time to go do them. I wanted to meet new people. I wanted to live in a place that most people only visit.

On the M/V Kennicott, I spent most of my time in the forward lounge, usually reading. Occasionally I would chat with other travelers. Each morning, I ended up meeting Jay in the cafeteria and having coffee with him.

He was scheduled to leave the boat when it docked in Juneau. Before he did, we exchanged email addresses, phone numbers, and Facebook information. Jay returned to Skagway. I continued onward to Whittier, and then to Homer.

Living in Homer didn’t work out at all the way I had planned. My income failed to keep pace with my outgoing, and lest you think I was living some lavish or dumbass lifestyle, my biggest purchase was a (not very expensive) couch.

I stayed in Homer for a few months. One day in June I was driving to Soldotna and Kenai to do a little exploring and some shopping and had been texting Jay about the problems I was having. His answer: “move to Haines.”

Jay was in the process of relocating to Haines after losing his job at the Klondike Gold Rush National Historical Park. I figured, what the hell, it can’t possibly go worse than things had been in Homer. So I did it. The trip itself was interesting and worthy of its own post, but I’ll leave that out for now.

From the time I moved, Jay was my best friend, sidekick, etc. We spent a lot of time exploring Haines, sometimes hiking, sometimes just driving around. It’s because of Jay that I began volunteering at the animal shelter in Haines.

Around this time, my interest in photography started to get more and more obsessive. I wanted a better camera, then a better camera than that one (not that I got it at the time). I spent hours taking photos. Generally, Jay was right there with me, either keeping an eye out behind us for bears (Alaskan brown bears are nothing to mess with…or ignore) or chilling out in the front passenger seat of the car while I hopped out to take advantage of a photo opportunity.

Without Jay, I would not today be able to call myself a professional photographer. He always encouraged me to get the camera, to go out and do things that could lead to a great photo. If I wanted to get up at 5AM and drive out to the Chilkoot River and bear watch as the sun came up, he was game. Go out at 2AM to view the aurora? Jay went with me.

The world lost Jay on November 7, 2015.

It’s hard for me to believe that I have now been without my friend Jay for longer than he was in my life. I no longer think of him every day, but it’s a rare week that passes without a memory of him.

I’ve written before about my belief that Jay came into my life for a reason (this link will take you to that post). I moved to Haines because of him. I learned to love the rain because of Jay (I do live in a rainforest, after all!). Though I didn’t arrive in Skagway until months after his death, I believe he was responsible for bringing me here.

Jay’s true purpose in life was to forge connections between people. Because of him, I have met several friends who are incredibly important parts of my life.

It’s a powerful thing to say that I wouldn’t be where I am – or what I am – if I had never met Jay. It’s also absolutely true.

Though it’s impossible for me to list off all the ways I have changed and developed as a person since and because of meeting Jay, I am aware of the changes. I am also aware that now that the foundation has been created, I need to take the steps necessary to build my life onward from here. Jay is no longer in the physical world, but I happen to think his spirit is still around to offer guidance when needed.

I hope he would be pleased and maybe even a bit proud of the things that I have accomplished in the past couple years. I hope he would be even more pleased and proud of the accomplishments yet to come.